I had lunch this past week in one of the iconic Ybor City sandwich shops. The waitress asked if I wanted a menu. I replied that I already knew what I wanted. I explained to her, in specific detail, how I wanted my Cuban sandwich prepared. As I expected, however, the waitress delivered it to me the way she preferred.
The newer restaurants in Ybor have embraced the ubiquitous American notion that the customer is always right. The older establishments in Ybor haven't bought into this concept; they are willing to allow the customer to order anything that the customer wants as long as the customer is prepared to eat whatever the cook prepares.
Mealtimes in Jesus' time were similar, in some ways, to my lunch on Friday. At the family table the head of the household, the father of the family, poured wine for each of the diners at table. If you were a favorite of the father, you might get a little more than others. If you were not particularly well liked, you might get a little less than others. Each diner was expected to be gracious and grateful, regardless of what was poured into their cup.
This became a metaphor to understand one's life. Most of life is simply given to us. We have no choice about the place and time of our birth. We have no choice about who our parents are. We have no choice about the circumstances or culture into which we are born. All of these are given to us. Likewise, much of our personality is given by genetics and environment.
The fact that we have so little choice about some of the most important things in life precipitates the question about happiness. How does one find happiness in a life not of one's choosing? The prevailing opinion in Jesus' time was that one was obliged to accept whatever was "poured out" in one's life.
The brothers James and John had a much more pro-active view of things. They went to Jesus to ask for places of honor in the kingdom. They weren't going to leave their happiness up to chance; they were going to do something about it. They asked Jesus for a greater portion than was going to be allotted to the other apostles. Jesus responded to their request by asking, "Can you drink the cup that I drink?" (Mark 10:38) He was, in effect, asking if they could share his fate.
James and John, at this point in their lives, would have made appropriate patron saints for American culture; we are all convinced that happiness can be sought and found. Some think that happiness can be bought with large sums of money. Others believe that happiness can be attained though notoriety. A good example from this weekend's news is the family in Colorado who believe that happiness lies in front of a tv camera. There are nearly countless iterations of the above beliefs.
Jesus had an unique notion of how to live a happy life. For Jesus happiness was not something to be sought, or found, in life. Rather, happiness was something to be given. He said, "whoever wishes to be great among you will be your servant; whoever wishes to be first among you will be the slave of all." (Mark 10:43-44)
Happiness, for Jesus, was not something to be gotten out of life; it was something to be put into life. Specifically, happiness is something to be put into the lives of others. This sounds very counter-intuitive and counter-cultural. Like James and John we probably expect to be able to gain happiness by being clever or industrious or lucky. The life of Jesus stands in opposition to this idea.
In the Incarnation God's will to save was poured into the life of Jesus. On the Cross Jesus poured out his life as our ransom for sin. God's love is love freely given solely for the benefit of those who could never merit it. The nature of God's love, then, becomes the pattern for our lives. True happiness is found in pouring our lives out for one another. As Jesus said, "For the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many." (Mark 10:45)
When we put ourselves at the service of others we have the rare opportunity to gain new perspective on the goodness that God has poured into our lives. To serve another is to give of oneself, to give some of the blessings, talents and goods that constitute one's life. In giving of ourselves we both emulate God's love and see, perhaps for the first time, the extent of the goodness that God has given us.
By pouring some of our time, care and goodness into the life of another we can see the great blessings that God gave us in the circumstances of our lives. This becomes our source of lasting happiness because it is a source that lies within us rather than in some other place. In serving others we can become an instance of God's love for them.
The life that is given to us at birth becomes truly our own when we choose to dispose of it in service to others. In serving the needs of those around us we possess, for the first time, both our lives and our lasting happiness. It is unlikely that we could have discovered this truth on our own. It is a saving truth that we see in the life of the one whose life was poured out for us.
In retrospect, the life of a disciple makes perfect sense. We might find that we are not naturally predisposed to serving the needs of others. However, when we choose to do so, in imitation of our Savior, we find that this is both the way in which God comes to us and the way in which we find our way to God.
