You might be too old to gig if...
1. Before each gig, you find yourself warming up more parts of your body than you use to play your instrument.
2. It becomes more important to find a place on-stage for your fan, than your amp.
3. During the second set, you scream for the drummer to please stop hitting those annoying cymbals.
4. You refuse to play out of tune.
5. Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round a golf.
6. Your fans have left by 10:30 p.m.
7. All you want from groupies is a back and foot massage.
8. You love shopping the dollar store because you can sing along to most of your play list.
9. You hire band members for their values instead of their talent.
10. Instead of a fifth piece, your band wants to spring for a roadie with the extra money.
11. You've lost the directions to the gig.
12. Prepping for the gig involves plucking hair from your chin or >nose.
13. Most of the hair you've plucked from your chin or nose is gray.
14. You need your glasses to see your amp settings.
15. You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage.
16. You're thrilled to have New Year's Eve off.
17. The waitress is your daughter.
18. You stop the set because your bottle of Ibuprofen fell behind the speakers.
19. Most of your crowd just sways in their seats.
20. You find your drink tokens from last month's gig in your guitar case.
21. You no longer use a tip jar.
22. You refuse to play without earplugs.
23. You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 p.m. instead of 9:30 p.m.
24. You want an opening act.
25. You check the TV schedule before booking a gig.
26. High notes make you cough.
27. Your gig stool has a back.
28. You're related to at least one other member of the band.
29. You need a nap before the gig.
30. You don't let anyone "sit in."
31. After the third set, you bug the club owner to let you quit early.
32. During the breaks, you now go to your van to lay down.
33. You prefer a music stand with a light.
34. You don't recover until Tuesday afternoon.
35. You can't operate without a set list.
36. You say you double on bass.
37. You discourage playing longer than contracted.
38. You have a contract.
39. You know all the words to "Aqualung."
40. You say you double on bass.
41. You discourage playing longer than contracted.
42. You have a contract.
43. You know all the words to "Aqualung."
Merry Christmas! --
Billy H. Peoples - (386)328-6118
"At My Age, I've Seen It All, Done It All, Heard It All...
I Just Can't Remember It All"
Manager Parrot Head Webring
www.billypeoples.com <http://www.billypeoples.com>
Steve Thomas adds:
“Old guitar players never die, they just loose their pluck.” – Anonymous
(This quotes was given to me by my brother, Al, in the 70's.)
stevethomas@bigplanet.com - (801) 592-7695
Here is the original message, as I received it on 12/13/06
-----Original Message-----
From: SANDRA CHRISTIAN
Sent: Wednesday, December 13, 2006 2:17 AM
To: stevethomas@bigplanet.com
Subject: FW: You might be too old to gig if...
I received this from a girl I ws in a group with years ago in San Diego. As
it turns out, it was written by my student and friend, bassist Donna, at a
gig with my old band. I had forwarded this to all my old bandmates cuz it
was so eerily true... they all got spooked by how right on it was of our
experience with this one guy , as well as us ourselves - and then I found
out it's cuz it was about THAT GUY, and Donna wrote it while musing on
break!!!!! HILARIOUS and kinda sad!
